This is the only logical conclusion...

          Our neighbors here in Ohio will not like reading this. Our friends in Florida will be enraged. People in Texas? They will not like it either.

          Gee, that’s too bad.

          The teams will be selected to play in the BCS national football championship game today, Sunday.

          Florida State will be there without deserving it. They haven’t played a worthy opponent all season. You can’t blame them for that, but you shouldn’t credit them as the top team in the nation, either.

          Auburn should be there, having knocked off the top ranked team in the country nine days ago and having beat the fifth-ranked team in the country last night.

          Ohio State, which was ranked second going into last night’s game, finally got around to playing a team ranked in the top 10 and Ohio State lost. The Buckeyes played a tougher schedule than did Florida State, but that’s like saying the Andrea Doria was a better ship than the Titanic. Not much to choose from there.

          Missouri, which began the week ranked fifth, lost a tough game against Auburn Saturday.

          So, if the top-ranked Florida State team needs to be ranked lower, and second-ranked Ohio State has been booted from the top five, that leaves Auburn ranked first. And moving Auburn from third to first creates a gap right there in second place. A spot which must be filled in order to have two teams compete in the national championship game in January.

          I don’t know which television network will broadcast the game this time, but I’m pretty sure they’ll insist on having two teams show up to play.

          The only logical conclusion would be to move the fourth-ranked team up to second. Think about it: First place FSU needs to go, second-ranked OSU is gone, third-ranked Auburn is now first. Fifth-ranked Missouri is gone.

          That leaves us just one team, the only team in the top five not to play a game last night. You can see it coming, right?

          The fourth-ranked team at the start of play Saturday was…Alabama. The same Alabama team that spent the entire season ranked first. The same Alabama team that was tied with Auburn with one second remaining in their game last week. The two-time defending national champs.

          The same school which did not win the SEC championship a few years ago because it lost to LSU in conference play, but won the national championship anyway by beating LSU in the title game. Don't you love it when history repeats itself?

          This year’s national championship game should match top-ranked Auburn against Alabama. It is the only logical conclusion.

 

          Thanks for reading and, as always, Roll Tide.

Better off playing tag on the highway

          There are jobs and there are bad jobs. Then there are jobs nobody in their right mind interviews for or accepts. They should be advertised under the heading, “Lunatic needed.”

          For this reason, it is always a good idea to ask what happened to the most recent person to hold the position you might interview for.

          Your loyal blogger once held public office, taking the position when the previous office holder moved out of his service area due to a family issue. The decision not to run for election was fairly simple. It would have cost an estimated $30,000 to campaign for a job that paid $3,600 a year.

          You could call that bad math.

          Here is a list of jobs you should not want:

          Quarterback, Cleveland Browns -- Skills needed: Ability to throw a football and hand off to others. Must be willing to accept injury, up to and including brain injuries. The last two guys have had concussions. They guy before that tore up his knee. This is one of those times a question about previous employees would be in order. On the plus side, there are openings on the offensive line. In fact, that's the problem, all the openings along the offensive line.

          President of the United States – Skills needed: Must be able to fool enough of the people enough of the time. Must be willing to lead a nation that does not want to be led and be responsible to a society which no longer values responsibility. If your loyal blogger was ever accidentally elected to this job, he would attend the swearing in ceremony, enjoy a week of official parties and then resign and live on the retirement afforded former presidents. Former Presidents don’t need Obamacare.

          Public school teacher – Skills needed: Are you kidding? Must be a government statistician, must be fully conversant on governmental rules regarding (but not limited to) child endangerment and emergency First Aid. Must understand the basics of psychology, sociology and psychiatry and must be up to speed on whatever pop culture says is hot at any moment. Oh yeah, must be a capable instructor when time allows. Must understand how unions work.

          Bomb Squad Member – If you see these people running, there is a reason. Accept what you see and don’t ask questions.

          PR rep for any ocean-bound cruise line – I have two words for you: Francesco Schettino.

          Vin Scully’s replacement – Vinnie, play-by-play man for the Los Angeles Dodgers, retires at the end of the 2014 season. It matters not who the replacement is. Nobody could replace the finest sports broadcaster of all time. No matter who the new Voice of the Dodgers is, Dodgers fans will say he or she sucks. Your loyal blogger hereby volunteers to take the job and accept the uproar (I don't think I'd suck, but everyone else would), paving the way for the next Voice to carry a smaller burden. I’ll get my Mom, the Mother of Leeway, to do color commentary. Everybody likes Mom.

           Thanks for reading.

 

Unrepentant as ever...

For those of you who might wonder:

Yes, I saw the Iron Bowl.

I thought it was a terrific football game. I thought the ending sucked.

Yes, I saw the USC-UCLA debacle. No, I didn't like it.

Yes, I saw the Ohio State-Michigan game. I thought Brady Hoke walked across the field with the game on a silver serving tray and handed it to Urban Meyer. Meyer graciously accepted it.

I think Auburn should leapfrog over Ohio State in the BCS standings, Florida State should be ranked first and, after the conference championship games in the coming weeks, Auburn should be ranked second and play Florida State for the national title.

Auburn plays in the SEC, where three teams are ranked in the top five, others are in the top 10 and still more are in the top 25. Ohio State has an excellent program in a weak (for now) conference and there is a price to pay for that schedule.

By the way, we have all read about declining math skills in our young people. I believe this is true. Here is why: Ohio State and Michigan, both reputed to be excellent academic institutions, play in a conference with a dozen members, calling itself The Big Ten.

There is a conference named The Big 12. It has ten members.

Math skills? Those people can't even count!

Thanks for reading. I'm glad someone still can.

Roll Tide.

A Thanksgiving Poem from your loyal blogger

On Thanksgiving Weekend to family you’ll ride,

O’re bridges, through Valleys and up the hillsides.

Don’t forget football, for each game we choose sides,

For Saturday’s Iron Bowl, we’ll all yell “Roll Tide!”

 

Gobble the turkey and finish the pies;

Laugh with the family ‘till tears fill your eyes;

Make Dad wash the dishes, but tell him he’s wise.

Careful while driving ‘cause there’s snow in the skies

 

For on this great weekend we must not be cranks,

‘Cause the original Turkey Day (when Pilgrims were Yanks)

Was a day to share grace, shake hands and give thanks

For the peace that was found between men of all ranks.

 

On this day when we think so much about feeding (ourselves)

We should practice goodwill, to you I am pleading.

Whatever you do, though, this thought I am seeding

I am grateful to you for all of your reading.

 

 

A driveway sign of the season

And so, having walked the dog and observed the conditions, I ventured off again into nature’s wonderland. There just isn’t any point to living so close as we do to nature without taking advantage of the chance to make nature work for us.

Your loyal blogger is an unabashed driveway greeting writer. Season’s greetings are the specialty. The entire neighborhood enjoys these happy, well intentioned greetings written on our driveway. Nature is happy to help with the details.

As we moved closer to one of our biggest weekends of the year, this blogger was simply unable to contain his joyfulness.

In keeping with the season, your loyal blogger is a happy man. Thus, this greeting to all:

 

 

Hey, it’s rivalry week. Read it and weep.

Roll Tide!

 

WOPIE

          It shaped up to be a busy day. Your loyal blogger had work to do, errands to perform and equipment to purchase.

          Mrs. Leeway, the happy retiree, was preparing to plunge out into the vast winteriness that is northeastern Ohio in November in order that she could attend a luncheon with neighborhood friends.

          “I’ll finish writing this masterpiece,” I said, indicating a business assignment. “Then I’ll walk the dog, put gas in the car, go to the bank and then go to the store to buy the equipment. When I’m done, I’ll take care of world peace.”

          Mrs. Leeway is accustomed to these confident assertions. Your loyal blogger is no mystery man to her. She replied, “I’m going to lunch. Email me if you settle world peace.”

          Her answer sounded like a challenge. Generally, Mrs. Leeway doesn’t challenge me too often. We are both happier that way. She saves her challenges for really big stuff, important stuff that needs to happen soon. Mrs. Leeway likes to call it, “Bringing out the big guns.”

          But I distinctly heard that challenging tone in her voice when she said, “Email me if you settle world peace.”

          So I did it.

          While walking the dog, I elected to multi task and began thinking of ways to develop world peace. Then I realized that the secret is not making everyone happy. I’ve been the Sports Editor of two small newspapers and the Sports Director of two radio stations. I know full well that you can’t make everybody happy.

          You need to make everybody happy enough.

          So, as the dog and I walked around the soggy Ohio landscape, I developed what I call the WOrld Peace Initiative – Elder, or WOPIE.

          The terms of WOPIE are really very simple: Do what Elder says.

          Forget negotiating. What a fantastic waste of time. You find two parties who kill each other out of habit and tell them the same thing: “You knuckleheads have been fighting each other for a thousand years? Okay, you’re done. Don’t kill anyone anymore.”

          That’s it. World Peace in one easy lesson.

          There’s the blueprint. Go do something with it, world.

          I’m not going to spend much more time on this. I volunteered my time and I was walking the dog at the same time. Nobody is going to pay me for my mental effort and I doubt the time spent will be tax deductible.

 

          I don’t expect any thanks, but I will thank you for reading.

Lincoln and Kennedy: Linked forever

          It is amazing to think how closely related two events are that are separated in time by one hundred years and three days. Both reflect their historic eras and both changed the course of history, one more than the other.

          President Abraham Lincoln gave his Gettysburg Address on November 19, 1863. President John Kennedy was assassinated November 22, 1963.

          Kennedy was invited to speak at Gettysburg on the 100^th anniversary of Lincoln’s address, but either Kennedy or his advisors decided a trip to Texas would better serve the re-election bid in the coming year.

          In retrospect, this was a poor choice.

          You’ve heard all the crazy coincidences: Both men had vice presidents named Johnson; Kennedy was riding in a Lincoln when he was shot and both first ladies ordered major work done on the White House.

Both Abe Lincoln and John Kennedy served during tumultuous times: Lincoln’s election triggered the Civil War and Kennedy presided during the Cold War, ordered the Bay of Pigs invasion and escalated American involvement in Vietnam.

Lincoln was not anyone’s idea of a picturesque man (although he sat for many photographs) but he was physically strong and vigorous. Kennedy projected an attractive image of a young, active man but he was actually somewhat frail.

Both had a way with words. Lincoln spoke of a government of the people, by the people and for the people, while Kennedy told his countrymen to ask not what their country could do for them but instead ask what they could do for their country.

Both men carried the pain of children lost at young ages.

More than a hundred years after Lincoln was murdered and a few years after Kennedy was killed, Lyndon Johnson, Kennedy’s vice president, pushed the Civil Rights Act through Congress. It was a piece of legislation Lincoln likely would have approved.

Andrew Johnson, Lincoln’s VP, did not fare so well in working with Congress.

Each November includes the anniversaries of Lincoln’s address and Kennedy’s murder. This year, because of the way the numbers fall, we pay more attention to those dates.

We can argue about how effective they were during their time in office, but Lincoln and Kennedy are somehow linked in the minds of many Americans. Maybe it is due to the assassinations. Maybe it is because of what they had in common.

Whatever the reason, the story of those two presidents draws us to them.

 Here is something else: The further away from Lincoln’s life time traveled, the more removed Americans were from the tremendous hatred Lincoln engendered during his time in office. We are left with his record.

In Kennedy’s case, the longer time stretches from his killing, the less emotion colors our vision of him. We are left with his record.

By the way, do you know who the last sitting president was to visit Gettysburg on November 19, the date of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?

It was Abraham Lincoln. No president since then has thought himself capable of matching Lincoln’s eloquence.

Thanks for reading.