Friday, January 26, 2024

WE HAVE LOST THE COMMISSIONER

 

One week, years ago, when I was the Sports Editor of a newspaper, I devoted my weekly column to the proposition that my mother should be named the Commissioner of Major League Baseball.

          My pal and sometimes co-worker Mickey Dale liked the column. In fact, when we speak nowadays, he’ll ask my about mom. But what he’ll say is, “How is The Commissioner?”

          Mom, I wrote, was an uncompromising disciplinarian. As a retired second grade teacher, she had the right training to handle the modern athlete. I wrote about a theoretical meeting with a player appealing a suspension. The player would get no sympathy from ME, I want you to know. I’ve been with The Commissioner when she was riled up. In my column, that make-believe player served his COMPLETE suspension.

And friends, my mother knew baseball. Do you understand the Infield Fly Rule? Mom did. She explained it frequently to anyone who didn’t know the rule. Too bad the umpires didn’t listen. With mom on their side, they’d have won more arguments.

          Do you remember when the Dodgers moved to LA? Mom did. She was in the Coliseum for Roy Campanella Night. She said Campy was the best catcher the Dodgers ever had. Want to argue? It’s a little late now but you had no chance of winning anyway.

          In my column, I wrote that the then Commissioner was little more than a fund-raising yes man for the owners. That’s pretty much what they have now, come to think of it. But mom would have run the show. Judge Kennesaw ‘Mountain’ Landis served as commissioner from 1920 through his death in 1944. Landis was a stern overseer of the game. He did the game a great service during his tenure. But Landis would have seemed like a baby kitten compared to my mom. Leo Durocher once won an argument with Landis. Leo would have stood no chance against mom.

          None.

          Well, we lost The Commissioner this week. She was 92. I harbored a small hope that she might be game for one more season with the Dodgers, one more shot at winning the World Series. That was not to be. She may have watched as last year’s bunch floundered around and lost in the first round of the playoffs again. Mom may have said, “The heck with this.”

          Mom is with her ancestors now and I envy all of them, even as I grieve. They are joyously together. But I don’t envy Judge Landis. Sooner or later mom will track him down. She’ll chew the Judge up one side and down the other for not seeing to it that MLB was integrated before the end of World War II. She’s right, he was wrong and he’s going to hear about it.

          And then my mother will sit down and prepare her 5 X 8 index cards so that she can keep score of the next Dodgers game. Where mom is now, the Angels are the home team, but I’m sure she’ll find a way to watch out-of-market games.

          “At this level,” mom will say, “I’m sure I can watch my Dodgers.”

          The Big Cable Guy in the Sky had better get that squared away before the season starts. The Commissioner will be waiting impatiently.

 

Sunday, February 5, 2023

2023 Speedyleeway Awards

The 2023 Speedyleeway Awards, as determined by Speedylee and a cast of many others. This year’s awards are late. So what?

 

NEWS MAKER OF THE YEAR AWARD: To Mad Vlad Putin for his failed invasion of the Ukraine.

THEY’LL BAN HUMANS NEXT AWARD: To the state of California, which has banned just about everything else.

WE WELCOME EVERYONE AWARD: To the state of Georgia for generously allowing Texas resident Hershel Walker to run for elected office in the Peach state.

THE WALL GANG AWARD: To NASCAR driver Ross Chastain for his last-lap, all or nothing charge at Bristol Motor Speedway. This award is named in honor of the famous Sit On the Wall Gang of Santa Monica, California.

THE FOLLOW THE ELDERS AWARD: To USC and UCLA for leaving the Pacific 12 Conference. The schools become the 15th and 16th members of the Big 10 Conference.

THE DON’T HIRE ENGINEERS FROM THIS CONFERENCE AWARD: To the 16-member Big 10 Conference.

RETURN ON INVESTMENT AWARD: To the Cleveland Browns for their very expensive contract with quarterback DeShon Watson.

BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD: Coach George Allen: A Football Life. Published by McFarland & Company Publishers.

TEAM OF THE YEAR AWARD: The 2022 Super Bowl champion Los Angeles Rams.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE TO DO? AWARD: The 2022 Los Angeles Dodgers.

THE REHASH IT ALL OVER AGAIN AWARD: To China for its end of the year outbreak of the COVID-19 virus.

SCHOOL SPIRIT AWARD: To Natalie Davis and Callie Ramsey of Wewoka (Oklahoma) High School. Their school’s football team ran low on players, so these two young women stepped up and helped out. Both women played in the game. Davis punted and kicked off. She recorded a tackle on her kickoff.

PROMOTER OF THE YEAR AWARD: To Ventura (California) Raceway’s Jim Naylor for the tremendous trophies he builds for the annual Turkey Night Grand Prix USAC midget race.

TALK SHOW OF THE YEAR AWARD: To Paul Finebaum for his show on the SEC Network.

AWARD OF THE YEAR AWARD: To the Professional Football Researchers Association for its annual Hall of Very Good Awards.

THE LET’S GET OUT OF HERE AWARD: To the officiating crew of the Michigan-TCU national semi-final game for its failure to continue officiating in the final seconds.


Saturday, December 17, 2022

A story of panels and plug-ins

 

          This is what is going to happen.

          Energy is the single most important question facing our planet and its residents. Finding effective sources of energy without harming the planet is the most difficult and controversial question before us. Combating the impact each energy source has on the planet is our greatest challenge.

          Generating electricity is a dirty process. The big push toward electric automobiles in the name of clean energy is laughable for that reason. We are not helping the planet.

          In order for electricity to effectively power cars, it must be stored in onboard batteries. The same is true in order to power homes. Want to power your own home? You’ll have to be able to store the juice somewhere.

          Therefore, the single most important thing we can do is to learn how to safely repurpose batteries. All batteries fail and they are environmentally filthy. If we look ahead, building batteries for safe and clean reuse is a science that will be very important. The resulting industry will be highly profitable.

          But how can we make generating electricity a clean industry? The answer, of course, is solar power. The science exists now to generate solar energy at your home. Put solar panels on your roof. The industry is constantly developing better and better panels. But creating enough energy to power both homes and automobiles in a home application will take a while. It will be expensive. It will probably have to be accomplished by private industry.

          Eventually, every family home will have solar panels on the roof. We’ll almost certainly go through an era where homes are powered by both traditional sources (read that to say ‘oil’) and solar. Generation and storage capacity will take a while to match need. But we’ll eventually reach the point where single-family homes are energy independent.

          We’ll also need to put solar panels on the roofs of every school, factory, governmental building and parking lot cover, that contribute to the power grid. Churches will need to have solar panels if they want to continue their tax-exempt status. Airport parking lots will start covering every spot in order to place solar panels on those covers. Southern California’s deserts will become solar farms and the landowners will rake in tremendous profits. Cities like El Centro and Brawley will become technical hubs.

          Sooner or later, someone is going to figure out how to infuse into windows the ability to generate and store solar energy.

          And the thing driving all of this will be science. Universities have drifted away from the engineering sciences in the last four decades. That will have to stop. Electrical and mechanical engineers are needed now to begin the research that will drive the development. That means math and the sciences will have to be emphasized in schools, starting with the primary grades. And that means teachers will need to get more training in the basics of those fields, which means more effort from the universities. Yes, I said effort from universities.

          The trades will play a significant role is all of this. When something goes wrong with your solar equipment, the local university won’t send a professor over to re-wire something. Electricians are going to be pretty important in this new solar society. Someone is going to have to install, maintain and repair all this equipment. Architects will have to design buildings that support panels on the roofs and can handle the increased electrical activity. The construction trades will have to adjust as well. Junior colleges used to be havens for developing tradesmen. That’s going to have to happen again.

          Yeah, yeah, you say. That’s in the future. Who cares now?

          Well, in order to make this stuff happen in the future, we’ll have to start now. We need a culture change. We need to think about building the future. That will not happen just by developing machines capable of running on electricity. It will happen by building an entire energy structure.

          Yeah, that means effort, lots of it. Industry, education and the trades will eventually take positions of leadership and drag us, kicking and screaming, into the future. But the first to make the needed advancement in each field figures to rake in the dough. As Steve Martin once said in a film, it’s a profit deal.

Americans usually respond to that.

 

 

         

Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Follow the Elders! We lead the way!

 

It is amazing what trend setters my wife and I have become. What is there to say? The last person to leave Los Angeles should turn off the lights, if there is any electricity left in the state of California by then.

          When we left my native land, we did so with the idea of achieving financial stability. It is cheaper to live in the Midwest after retirement than it is in Southern California and we knew that. My wife and I frequently brag that we sometimes to go the bank just to visit our money. What the heck, we don’t have much of a social life. Might as well visit all those dead presidents.

          Well, the world was paying attention. At least the sporting world was. Two institutions of higher learning followed the Elders. The University of Southern California and the University of California at Los Angeles both noticed the financial pitfalls of living in California. The schools recently announced that their athletic departments would follow the Elders and begin playing their road games in the Midwest and even in New Jersey.

          Brilliant. The two Los Angeles schools obviously considered their surroundings and bailed. Bordered by the wastelands of Beverly Hills, Santa Monica and Hollywood, they felt hindered by the greater Los Angeles area business climate. The schools were hopelessly limited in their ability to raise funds. Forced to compete with the limitless funding available at schools in Oregon, Washington, Utah, Arizona and Colorado, the SoCal schools bolted for the pot at the end of the rainbow in the Midwest. Those two bastions of business education will send their teams east for the same reason we went: Money.

          The Bruins and Trojans can send their golf, tennis, track/field and beach volleyball teams to venture off into the splendor of New Jersey, where each can play against Rutgers. Imagine beach volleyball along the shores of the Atlantic in the bracing air of the northeastern United States. They’ll play tennis on ice skates and rake in all that money. It will be easy to judge the shot putting competition; all the judges have to do is look for where the shot went through the ice.

          And think of how inclusive home games will become for USC and UCLA! All the Midwesterners who have moved west will be able to attend and root, root, root for the visiting team. It’ll sound like a Rams game. If that isn’t inclusion, there isn’t any such thing in today’s world.

          Yes, my wife and I are proud we were able to show the way. We’re happy that the geniuses who guide those two proud schools followed our lead and headed east. That’s where the money is.

        Thanks for reading.

Friday, September 30, 2022

Tua Tagovailoa deserved better

 

                The images are disturbing. Miami Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa suffered injuries in consecutive games played four days apart. Your Loyal Blogger was not the doctor on scene at either game. In fact, YLB is not a doctor at all. There is no point to pontificating about Tagovailoa’s physical condition before, during or after either game because we really don’t know what his condition was.

            Still, there are points to be made.

1.      It is time for the National Football League to face up to the reality that its players should not be playing on four days rest. Thursday games, including Thanksgiving Day games, should be stricken from the schedule.

2.      Tagovailoa’s first injury came on a late hit, a deliberate foul by Buffalo Bills linebacker Matt Milano. That player was not fined. His team was slapped with a 15-yard penalty but there was no ejection nor post-game penalty issued by the National Football League. The National Football League Players Association also said nothing.

3.      Tagovailoa’s second injury, while vicious, came at the end of a perfectly legal tackle.

4.      It must be fairly stated that Tagovailoa’s first injury incident happened just before halftime. He only missed three plays but that was with the halftime interval included.

5.      Tagovailoa’s second injury, during a Thursday Night Football game, was suffered on artificial turf. While strides have been made with fake turf in terms of the potential for cutting the odds of suffering certain types of injuries, we wonder whether studies have been done regarding the fake stuff and head injuries.

6.      Tagovailoa’s injuries have allowed the NFL to give itself a terrible black eye. A star player received an apparent injury but was allowed to complete the game. Four days later, he suffered another dangerous injury in a league game. Much of the country did not see Thursday’s game. It was not on network television due to slipping television ratings. The game was carried a streaming service of some kind. But the video images of Tagovailoa’s two injuries will be with football fans for years to come. The league failed this player.

Thanks for reading.

Monday, August 15, 2022

Tanned, rested and ready...

 

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY

THE ELDER MANIFESTO

 

I sincerely hope that all of our friends will pause at this moment and send their best regards and prayers to my wife, Amy. Her greatest fear has come true: I have decided to run for President again.

Amy is afraid I’ll win this time.

After taking a look at the long list of Bozos likely to run in 2024, then at the two idiots likely to earn their disrespective party nominations, you can see Amy’s point. The nation is desperately looking for someone else.

“I don’t want to live in Washington,” Amy told me.

“Neither do I,” I replied.

“You do if you want to run for President,” said the would-be First Lady.

“Actually, my master plan is much better than you realize,” I said in a soothing voice.

My master plan is to secure the nomination (I’ll announce which party later), sweep my way into office by a magisterial voting mandate and take the oath. I’ll enjoy a few parties, take some selfies in the Oval Office and then resign after a few days. All I really want is the retirement package all former Presidents are entitled to. I won’t even need a Presidential Library. Think of the savings!

          With that in mind, I’d need to have a really top-notch Vice President. My top choice has said many times that she is not interested in returning to government service, so I can’t choose her. My second choice might not be available if she wins a return to her Congressional seat this year and I don’t want to interfere with that effort. She is too important to her state to waste her time in the White House.

          So my VP choice is a guy who has the time to do the job, is more liberal than I am on some matters and more conservative than I am on others. He has administrative experience, deep knowledge of many aspects of American society and, incredibly, knows how to herd cats.

          My VP choice: Buck Weber.

          And if Buck Weber is not elected to the Vice Presidency, I’ll serve my entire four-year term. Think about that one for a minute.

          Upon entering the White House, my first act as POTUS would be to start playing the theme song for our campaign on the intercom: Don’t Worry, Be Happy. I want everyone calm.

          What the special interest groups miss, what our foreign adversaries want us to forget, the thing our crazed social media has lost track of is this: We have the best nation in the world. Ours is the best constitutional government on the planet. If our elected officials shut up and listen, they’ll find that we actually are led by We, the People. We the People are tired of the mind-blowing pace, make that the MINDLESS pace of finger-pointing in all levels of government. The ones with the most to hide wag their fingers the most vigorously and We the People want that nonsense to end.

          Vote for Elder.

          We the People want leadership with a heavy dose of quality control. We don’t seem to have any quality control in government just now. We need that in abundance. In my one and only cabinet meeting, I’d tell all the Secretaries to shut up and run their departments like the administrators they are supposed to be. Run the departments so that those departments serve the American people and do it with a healthy dose of quality control. In other words, I want them to do their jobs. The job title is SECRETARY and what we need at the top of each governmental department is a competent secretary.

We want our borders secure, our military veterans cared for and our teachers stocked with the tools they need to teach. All of us want those things, we just disagree how to do it. Americans want the best government we can get with the lowest possible taxes. We don’t like the idea of hunger in this nation, we want farmers to make a fair profit and we refuse to be dictated to by the governments of other nations. We don’t even listen to our own government very often. People fought wearing masks at the start of the pandemic, remember? A skill like herding cats can come in handy in government.

We want to push the sciences in school so we can return to our role as the world’s leader in the scientific development. That way we can get a grip on global warming and figure out the best way to deal with it. That means serious investment in both the theoretical sciences and in the trades. Once we think the stuff up someone is going to have to make it all work. That means builders, installers, maintenance workers, logistical experts and repair people. We the People are going to need that stuff. Deep down inside, we all know it. So we have to push the hard subjects in school: Math and sciences. I almost flunked a shop class in junior high, so we’d better push that stuff as well.

Vote for Elder.

What we need is a calm reassessment of ourselves. We’re better than everyone else and that’s why so many other nations don’t like us. If we all concentrate on our own areas of responsibility and complete the daily assignment, we’ll be fine. Where we run into trouble is when we start telling everyone else how to do their job. Pretty soon, quality control goes out the window.

          Abraham Lincoln is alleged to have said that it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than it is to speak and clear the matter up. Sadly, the people we have in office now spend a lot of their time clearing things up. That is generally true at all levels of government and it has been for a long time. Remember Richard Nixon? He used to say, “Let me make one thing perfectly clear.”

          So you see my point, right? Vote for Elder.

I appreciate your votes. We’ll win, don’t worry. And remember to be happy.

Friday, July 15, 2022

Book review: Fly Girls

 

          Author Keith O’Brien’s book, Fly Girls: How Five Daring Women Defied All Odds And Made Aviation History, covers the growth of aviation in the 1920s and ‘30s and the contributions of women who flew during that time. It’s about gender bias and history, racing competition, public relations and determination. Despite the title, this book is about more than just five women. In fact, it is about more than just women. It is about an entire industry.


          To be blunt, this is just a heck of a book. A great read, published in 2018 by Houghton Mifflin. O’Brien is a former newspaper reporter and has been a contributor to National Public Radio.

          The best-known female pilot from the 20s and 30s was Amelia Earhart. Her role in the growth of aviation and in the women’s movement in general is covered in this fine book. However, O’Brien makes it clear from the start that his book is about all of the women pilots of the time: Louise Thaden, Ruth Nichols, Florence Klingensmith, Blanche Noyes and lots of others. (Among those fliers chronicled in this telling is an Alabama-born woman named Ruth Elder. Elder is not a relative of my family, so far as can be determined.) All of the pilots mentioned struggled to be allowed to compete in the air races of the day. They were barred for years; the races were male-only events. Eventually, Thaden skunked everyone when she won a major cross-country race to Los Angeles and the boys had to wake up to a sobering fact: Women made good fliers.

          O’Brien is a deft storyteller and his research is outstanding. The writing flows at a very enjoyable pace. The story and O’Brien’s smooth writing pulls you right along. The only complaint here is the book follows its path without footnotes. If the reader wonders about a specific passage, there are notes in the back of the book, arranged by page number. This reviewer prefers the old school style with footnotes at the bottom of the page.

          Structurally, Fly Girls is composed of an introduction and 22 chapters. There are 35 images in the middle of the book. The Acknowledgments section in the back of the book is absolutely important to read. This reviewer values high-quality research, always reading this section of non-fiction books. The passage about O’Brien’s conversations with Thaden’s daughter tells the reader about the impact doing the research had on him. For this reader, it was the perfect ending.

          The story of women fighting for their place in the growth of aviation has direct application to today’s world. Even today, roughly a century after the point where Fly Girls begins, women continue to fight for equality. Look no further than the field of sports, generally, and automobile racing in particular. Women are winning championships in drag racing but they struggle to get major sponsorships or a chance to drive the best equipment in other forms of the sport. Some female racers reach stardom, like Earhart did, but others demonstrate great talent without getting the same recognition.

          This is a book worth reading. It is about history. It is about airplanes. Most of all, it is about people. What’s more important than that?