On being a genius

          When you travel extensively you meet a lot of people. Sometimes a person you meet on the road makes a lasting impression and gives you a memory you never lose. And sometimes that person gives you a great story to tell.

          This is about one of those people but we need to agree that, because the remarkable person in the story is a youngster, the name, city of residence and the location where we met will be left out.

          The bottom line is that I was at a race and was watching from a suite full of racers, officials and sponsors. The company was friendly, one of those situations where a group of folks who are unlikely to meet again enjoy being together for a few hours.

          Seated directly in front of me was a charming young lady who I learned was eight years of age. She knew her racing. Her parents are both drag racers and the girl herself races a quarter-midget. The girl’s chatter toward her mother was constant and all about racing.

          “That’s against the rules!” she would insist. “He (the driver) can’t do that!”

          I began talking to the girl and enjoyed her conversation. She asked if I wanted to see her racecar, which I was delighted to do. She showed me about a dozen images on her mother’s phone/camera of her in her car. In one image, her uncle lifted one side of the car off the ground, leaving the other side on the ground and with my new friend still belted inside so the girl’s father could change a tire. Funny image.

          “Daddy should have been faster,” at changing the tire she judged.

          “You know,” I told the second-grader, “I am a genius.”

          She frowned and said, “You are?”

          “Sure,” I said. “I bought a cell phone exactly like the one my wife has. That way, when I don’t know how to do something, I can ask my wife and she’ll show me.”

          The girl’s mother nodded and agreed that this was a very smart thing to do. The daughter was a little less impressed, but she continued to visit with me anyway. We kidded back and forth until the kid launched into a story wherein she and her dog were traveling somewhere in a truck.

          I asked who was driving.

          “My dad was,” she said. “We…”

          “That’s not what you said,” I pounced. “You said you and your dog were in the truck. Who was driving, you or the dog?”

          She frowned, crossed her arms and asked, “Are you sure you’re a genius?”

          I laughed for a while and didn’t quit smiling for a while longer. I hope you laughed, too.

          Thanks for reading.

Gifts in passing

 

 

WANTED: NFL QUARTERBACK FOR CONTENDING TEAM

Must be former member of the Los Angeles Rams

          College football programs around the country have earned a reputation for producing terrific professional quarterbacks.

You think of the University of Southern California teams that have recently produced three National Football League starters and, going back a few decades, you think of the Alabama teams that produced NFL heroes Bart Starr, Joe Namath and Ken Stabler.

But for championship-quality passers, few college programs can match the ultimate production line of the 1950s and early 1960s, the castoffs of the Los Angeles Rams.

During the stretch between 1960 and 1964, former Rams quarterbacks Norm Van Brocklin, Billy Wade and Frank Ryan quarterbacked non-Rams teams to the NFL title.

Van Brocklin tossed the scoring pass that won the 1951 championship for the Rams, the only title the franchise ever earned in Los Angeles, and he played in another title game with the Rams before moving to the Philadelphia Eagles.

Wade played behind Van Brocklin and then became the Rams starter before moving on to the Chicago Bears.

Ryan and Wade were teammates in Los Angeles until Wade moved on to Chicago. Ryan eventually left LA for Cleveland, where he joined the Browns.

Another former Ram, Zeke Bratkowski, served as Bart Starr’s backup during three championship seasons in Green Bay and one more ex-Ram signal caller, Rudy Bukich, also won a ring as a backup.

Even John Unitas once played for the Rams. Okay, it was a sandlot group known as the Bloomfield Rams, but history shows that Unitas was successful after leaving the Bloomfield squad. Just wearing a Rams uniform, regardless of the league affiliation, seems to have been all a passer needed in the 1950s to develop into an all-star.

Van Brocklin joined the Rams when the club already had Bob Waterfield, another future member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Waterfield was already a hero, having led the Rams to an NFL title when the team was still playing in Cleveland. The two great passers managed to co-exist for a time in LA and the Rams built one of the great offenses in league history. Waterfield retired after the 1952 season, leaving Van Brocklin pretty much on his own under center for a time.

But after falling to the Browns in the 1955 title game, things changed for the Rams. That’s when the Great Quarterback Development Program began.

Wade had joined the Rams in 1954. Bukich was with the club in 1953, was out of football for two years and then rejoined the club in 1956. By 1957 Bukich’s transitory 16-season career was in full swing. He eventually joined the Bears and was a backup for Chicago when they won the title in 1963.

But we’re getting ahead of the story.

In 1958, Sid Gilman was the Rams coach and there were reports that the coach and Van Brocklin did not see eye-to-eye on the matter of play calling. Van Brocklin wanted to call his own plays and Gilman, a great master of the passing game, felt it was the coach’s job. The Rams felt Wade was ready to step in for Van Brocklin and Los Angeles traded the Dutchman to Philadelphia.

The Rams’ take in the deal included a draft pick they used to select running back Dick Bass, who eventually set franchise rushing records.

Van Brocklin called his own plays in Philadelphia and, in 1960, became the only quarterback to beat a Vince Lombardi-coached team in an NFL title game.

Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, the Rams were suffering. Ryan, a fifth-round draft pick out of Rice, joined the club in 1958 but Wade was the starter and the team went 8-4, finishing second in the Western Conference to Unitas and his Colts.

Wade passed for 2,875 yards, 18 for scores in 1958 but he also threw 22 interceptions. In 1959, Wade passed for 2,001 yards, but he tossed 12 scoring passes compared to 17 interceptions. The Rams finished 2-10 in ’59, last in the conference, and Gilman was gone.

Waterfield replaced Gilman as head coach in 1960 and both Wade and Ryan saw significant playing time. In addition, Buddy Humphrey was on the roster as a third passer, having joined the team in 1959 as a second round draft pick.

 The passing numbers in 1960 for the 4-7-1 Rams:

 

Wade: 106 of 182 for 1,294 yards, 12 touchdowns, 11 interceptions

Ryan: 62 of 128 for 816 yards, 7 touchdowns and 9 interceptions

Humphrey: 9 of 24 for 78 yards, no touchdowns, 2 interceptions

 

          Obviously, Wade had to go. The Rams sent him to the Bears, along with receiver Del Shofner and offensive guard John Guzik, in exchange for two players and a draft pick.

          The Bears improved from 5-6-1 in 1960 to 8-6 in 1961. Wade, the passer the Rams passed on, completed a 98-yard scoring toss to Bo Farrington for the Bears against Detroit on Oct. 8.

The Rams were 4-10 in ‘61 and they had another two-headed quarterback, as Bratkowski had joined the Rams after five years with (of all teams) the Bears. The Rams’ passing numbers in 1961:

 

Bratkowski: 124 of 230 for 1,547 yards, 8 touchdowns, 13 interceptions

Ryan: 72 of 142 for 1,115 yards, 5 touchdowns and 7 interceptions

 

          Ryan never finished a season with the Rams without throwing more interceptions than scoring passes and he was dealt to Cleveland before the 1962 season. In fairness, he did not play on great teams in Los Angeles.

          The Rams drafted Roman Gabriel in the 1962 selection process and he became the franchise quarterback for the next decade. Gabriel handed off to Bass many times. In the mid-sixties, Gabriel was throwing touchdown passes to Tommy MacDonald, the flanker who caught a scoring pass from Van Brocklin in the 1960 championship game.

          In 1963, it was between Gabriel and Heisman Trophy winner Terry Baker for the Rams’ starting job.

          Wade took the Bears to the championship in 1963, beating the New York Giants 14-10 in the title game. Ironically, Wade scored both Chicago touchdowns on a pair of quarterback sneaks after Chicago defenders intercepted New York passes. In that championship season, Wade completed 192 of 356 passes for 2,301 yards. He also threw 15 scoring passes to only 12 interceptions.

          In Los Angeles, Gabriel and newcomer Bill Munson were in competition for the Rams’ starting job in 1964. Harlan Svare was now the coach and the team went 5-7-2, good enough for fifth in the Western Conference.

          Wade and the defending world champion Bears finished sixth.

          In Cleveland, Ryan was handing the ball to Jim Brown and it was working. In 1964, Ryan and the Browns beat Unitas and the Colts 27-0 for the NFL title. Ryan threw three touchdown passes in the title game. His 1964 season stats were impressive: 174 of 334 for 2,404 yards. He led the NFL with 25 touchdown passes and had 19 interceptions.

In 1967, Gabriel and the Rams won the Coastal Division championship, then lost to the Packers in the Western Conference title game. It was the Rams’ first post-season game since the loss in the ’55 title game.

The soap opera-like conclusion to the story was a short-lived consolation game for the second-place teams in the Western and Eastern conferences, played in Miami. Gabriel and the Rams beat Ryan and the Browns, 30-6.

Gabriel was named the NFL MVP in 1969. He finished his career with, yes that’s right, the Eagles. Though he never won an NFL championship, Gabriel did make a movie with John Wayne. It was titled, The Undefeated.

          To be sure, other former Rams quarterbacks have enjoyed success with different franchises. Ron Jaworski reached the Super Bowl with – wait for it – the Eagles, losing to the Raiders. And Kurt Warner, who in 2000 passed the Rams to their first NFL title since the 1951 game that Van Brocklin won, nearly won the Super Bowl with the Cardinals in 2009.

Bratkowski won three championship rings with the Packers in 1965, 66 and 67, backing up Bart Starr. Decades later Jeff Rutledge, who was with the Rams from 1979 through 1981, won Super Bowl rings as a backup for both the 1986 New York Giants and the 1991 Washington Redskins.

By one measuring stick, the Rams franchise is the winningest in NFL history because it is the only franchise to win championships in three cities (Cleveland, Los Angeles and St. Louis). By nearly any measuring stick, the Los Angeles Rams were the givingest team in the league in the late 1950s and early 60s.

No other professional franchise developed a more successful group of quarterbacks for other teams.

 

Attempts         Complete        Yards        TDs           Ints

 

V. Brocklin   

Rams               1,897               1,011               16,114       118            124   (104 games)

Non Rams       998                  542                  7,497          55             54     (36 games)

Career              2,895               1,553               23,611       173            178   (140 games)

 

Wade

Rams               1,116               603                  8,572         56              68   (69 games)

Non Rams       1,407               767                  9,958         68              66   (59 games)

Career              2,523               1,370               18,530       124            134  (128 games)

 

Ryan

Rams               373                  181                  2,674          15             23   (40 games)

Non Rams       1,760               909                  13,368        134           88   (86 games)

Career              2,133               1,090               16,042        149           111 (126 games)

 

Bratkowski

Rams               449                  234                  3,088           17            29   (26 games)

Non Rams       1,035               528                  7,257           48            93   (106 games)

Career              1,484               762                  10,345         65            122 (132 games)

           

 

 

 

 

The tale of the illegal cap

          You probably heard about the five-year old Michigan fan, a kindergarten student, who was in violation of his school’s dress code for wearing a University of Michigan-themed tee-shirt. He had to turn the shirt inside out. In his school’s district, students may only wear Oklahoma or Oklahoma State-themed apparel.

          Like most stupid rules, this dress code is based on well-meaning logic. Gangs sometimes use sports teams as their colors and so limiting the teams represented on shirts at a school is a way to combat gang influence.

          A similar thing happened to my son when he was a high school freshman and we attended a football game at his school.

          Sean had a Superman hat. It was a baseball cap and, if I recall accurately, he got it after riding the Superman ride at Magic Mountain. I think it was cammo-colored. Anyhow, he liked the hat and wanted to wear it. There was a dress code at school that barred the cap but neither Sean nor I were aware that the dress code extended to football games.

          So off we went to this game and we hadn’t been there long before Sean said he wanted to go to the snack bar, which he did. He came back with a teacher who explained that Sean could not wear the hat, that it violated the dress code. He had to leave the stadium.

          I took the hat from Sean and stuck it inside my jacket. The teacher went away and I gave the cap back to Sean. I guess I’m a little stubborn. Anyway, Sean was back a few minutes later with the same teacher. Sean could now surrender the cap or leave the stadium. Failure to do one or the other would end in a suspension.

          Well, I wasn’t going to surrender the cap. I asked if the school would refund my ticket, which the teacher explained was my problem. Then I put the hat on my head and asked if the rule extended to adults, which the teacher said it did not.

          Thus, the same cap was legal on my head and illegal on my son’s head. Very simply the dumbest thing I’d ever heard of. Either the cap was legal or illegal. It couldn’t be both. I explained my opinion of the rule to the teacher, who was becoming less enamored with my stand on the subject with every word I used.

          Of course, my opinion of the hat rule was colored by the fact that Sean was forced to sit on the football field for the entire first week of school while the students who had not registered were placed in class. We had registered Sean very early in the registration period, but the unregistered kids got seats in classrooms while the registered kids sat on the football field.

          Tremendous decision making by the school’s administrators. Brilliant.

          And when Sean finally got a chance to sit in a classroom, he didn’t get the book for one of his classes for three weeks. Notes to the teacher didn’t work. I had to go to a district board meeting and speak during the public comments portion of the meeting to get the kid his book. I gave an excellent talk. I carried a stopwatch because public comments are limited to three minutes. Every time a board member interrupted my dissertation, I held my stopwatch in the air and stopped it. I wanted my full three minutes.

          Sean finally got his book but I had a low opinion of the school’s administration before we started the hat dance at the football game.

          We ended up leaving the game early. Rules are rules and I usually respect even the dumbest ones. But, as a former newspaperman, I’d have loved to write this headline: Superman Cap Incites Riot at Football Game.

 

          Superman, I’ve got your back. Thanks for reading.

They're baaaack!!

The secret is out now. Everybody knows.

          And we are sort of going forward into the past.

          At the end of the 2011 college football season, Alabama and LSU were the best college teams in the country. They were the right choices to play in the national championship game despite Alabama’s regular season loss to the Tigers. They were clearly the best choices available.

          The best choices available.

          But there was one choice unavailable for that game and that ineligible team was the only team in the country capable of competing with the two Southeastern Conference juggernauts at the end of the season. The only team big enough, fast enough and tough enough to play either LSU or the Crimson Tide for the title.

          That team was the University of Southern California and now the Trojans are ranked third or better by most preseason polls for the 2012 season.

          Half a century ago, you would automatically include John McKay’s Trojans and Bear Bryant’s ‘Bama boys in the national championship conversation. USC was the standard Pacific Eight (that was the name of the conference back then) representative in the Rose Bowl and Alabama typically played in the Sugar Bowl or some bowl somewhere. Bowl games meant something back then because there were so few of them and bowl organizations loved Bear Bryant.

          All these years later, most of the polls you see this month show Alabama, LSU and USC filling the top three positions. It’s very early in the year for the polls to mean anything, especially since LSU has already lost an impact player for the season and Alabama lost so many starters to graduation last year. But college football needs USC and Alabama in the championship argument. These are two great programs with historically significant names attached to them. Tradition is a big part of the sport and those two schools have plenty of tradition.

          USC’s return to the elite gives us a blueprint for what Penn State should be able to accomplish when that school’s program comes off the NCAA’s penalty laden, five year apology for the terrible things that happened to children on that campus.

          Read this with confidence: The Nittany Lions will redshirt every freshman for the next three years. They will redshirt every sophomore with real talent now in the program that has not already redshirted. They will convert the current juniors and seniors into sacrificial, uh, Lions, along with any others on the roster who are out of redshirt years or disinterested in sitting.

          Penn State will aim its program at the first year after the NCAA sanctions end. Its best players will have been nurtured and will be ready. The seniors and juniors still in the program by then will provide the experience needed for effective leadership.

          While all that stuff is going on, the school and the athletic department will make occasional announcements about accomplishing the administrative changes required by the NCAA.

          And Penn State will play winning football.

          Many commentators said when the NCAA sanctions were announced that Penn State’s program would be set back for a decade by the penalties. Don’t you believe it. Heck, the Lions weren’t playing all that well in recent seasons anyway. When you look at it, the penalties give Penn State a chance to get its house in order and spend time generating a better on-field product.

          Doubt me? Check the college football rankings of your choice. Look for USC. A few years in the doghouse and now the Trojans are ranked number one by at least one writer. Penn State can do the same thing.

          Elder’s Law #2: When life hands you lemons, make lemonade and call it a bowl game.

          Thanks for reading.

Whaddaya call that?

          It is obvious to me that we need to work on how we name things.

          We drive on the parkway and park in the driveway. I get that. But why must we pay a toll on the freeway?

          I once threw change at a highway ripoff receptacle and missed. Grumbling, I put the car in park and opened the car door to retrieve my lost wages so as to re-toss it at the basket. I discovered lots of lost change on the ground and I picked a lot of it up, using it to pay the tolls for the rest of the time I was in the area. Obviously, this is what is meant by public funding. A grant from the On Ramp Endowment.

          I am amazed to see that not one single college junior attends a junior college.

          When you play golf, you have to pay greens fees. But golfers like me shouldn’t have to pay greens fees, since we never actually reach the greens. Wanna charge me fairway fees? Fair enough, I’m willing to pay a fair sum. You know, some fair sum for some fun on the fairways. But it would be way more fair to call it what it is: A land use fee.

          And speaking of golf: You tee off with a driver, hopefully hitting the ball down a fairway of the ball’s choice. Wouldn’t it be more fair to drive the ball down the driveway with the driver?

          I must be missing the obvious with this one: The Bible says the quality of God’s work is, “good.” But television says a knife that slices tomatoes is, “amazing.” Huh?

          In baseball, if a right-handed hitter hits the ball down the first base line, it’s called “going the other way.” In golf, if you hit the ball in the exact same direction, it is called, “a shank.”

          In baseball, if you get a base hit off a blooper that hardly reaches the outfield grass, they call it a “Texas Leaguer.” What do they call it in the Texas League?

          They have something called the free throw line in basketball. Good name. But shouldn’t they call the area near the basket the free-for-all line? Things get violent down there.

          If a player on the opposing team admits to committing a foul, in any sport, it is good sportsmanship. If a guy on your team does the same thing, it’s called, “stupid.”

          General Meade won the battle of Gettysburg and was demoted. General Lee lost the battle of Gettysburg and tried to resign without success.

          President Lincoln was murdered while in office and his killer was shot by a soldier while hiding in a barn. This was called a “manhunt.” President Kennedy was murdered while in office and his killer was shot by a citizen in a police station. This was called a “conspiracy.”

          The Cleveland Rams moved to Los Angeles and then to St. Louis, winning a championship in each city. The Baltimore Colts moved to Indianapolis, winning titles in both towns. The Chicago Cardinals moved to St. Louis and then to Arizona, winning, well, nothing really. The point is all three franchises retained their team names. But the Cleveland Browns moved to Baltimore (the town the Colts left) and now call themselves the Ravens. Cleveland (the town the Browns left) got a brand new franchise which was named the Browns. The new Browns got to keep the all-time records and statistics that the old Browns had, while the Ravens, a 60-plus year old franchise that has won championships in two different leagues, started from scratch in terms of statistics. I’m not sure what to call that.

          If you think of an answer, let me know. Until then, thanks for reading.

Hall of Famers in the backyard

          They are two heroes from different sports but they have a great deal in common. They have done everything possible on the field of play. Statistically, their careers are among the greatest of all time. Either might be the answer to the eternal sports question: Who was the greatest of all time?

          But there is a kicker to the story.

          They are Damon Allen and Reggie Miller, Hall of Fame careers but second-best in the backyard.

          Allen is second on the all-time list of professional quarterbacks in terms of yardage gained passing. He spent his professional career in the Canadian Football League and retired with the world record for passing yards. He was surpassed last year by Anthony Calvillo.

          Just about any other family would have shrine to Damon Allen in the front room. Trophies and photographs would be everywhere.

          Same thing with Reggie Miller, the retired professional basketball superstar. One of the best long distance shooters in the history of the game, he once scored eight points in 8.9 seconds to win a playoff game. This guy was within scoring range as soon as he hit town. Hero to the NBA and an also ran at home.

          It is a common theme for Damon and Reggie.

          Damon Allen’s older brother is Marcus Allen. Marcus Allen won the Heisman Trophy at USC and had one of the most amazing scoring runs in the history of the Super Bowl.

          Did you ever see the movie League of Their Own? Remember the scene where the sisters are introduced? Remember this line: “This is our daughter Dottie. And this is our other daughter, Dottie’s sister.” That’s what it is like to be Damon Allen, among the most prolific passers in pro football history and the second best-known football player in his family.

          Damon Allen, the younger brother, should be headed for the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. He’ll have to settle for the Canadian Football Hall of Fame.

          It’s worse for Reggie Miller. After his brilliant playing career ended, Miller turned to color commentary on nationally-televised NBA games. He does a good job with that work as well. Great college and pro player, outstanding announcer. Household name to basketball fans for decades.

          And his sister, Cheryl Miller, was the better player. Remember Cheryl Miller? Superstar college basketball player at USC, Olympic gold medalist and a member of three halls of fame. Cheryl Miller has also been an outstanding broadcaster, too.

          Cheryl used to beat Reggie in one-on-one competition in the family driveway when they were kids. True, she was the eldest, but a win is a win is a win.

          At a time when women’s basketball was not as generally popular as it is now or as popular as it will be in years to come, Cheryl Miller helped build the game into what it is now.

          It is true that Reggie Miller was the face of the Indiana Pacers for many years and deservedly so. But Cheryl Miller was the face of an entire sport.

          Is any of this fair? Probably not. But life is like that.

          Thanks for reading.

Knoxville

           

          Home again after five days in Iowa for the 52^nd running of the Goodyear Knoxville Nationals sprint car event.

          You really can’t call Knoxville’s four-day festival of sliding sideways a race. There is plenty of racing, a lot of it really great racing. But the Goodyear Knoxville Nationals is an event in the same way the Indianapolis 500 is an event.

          And, as much as anything, the Knoxville event is a celebration of middle America. Winged sprint cars race all over the United States and the fans of the sport number high into the millions. Thousands of them jam the small town of Knoxville for Nationals week and they are treated to the things that make this part of the country great.

          You can eat dinner or lunch (or both) at the local Cattleman’s Association tent and feast on fresh beef (rib eye, burgers, whatever), locally grown, fresh corn (dipped in hot butter) and a choice of other stuff. After the main course, you stroll over to the local Rotary Club area for a slice of homemade pie (take your choice, the variety is great) and some ice cream. The money spent at either place goes to one local charity or another.

          There are lots of eating options, all of them good and many of them featuring locally-produced produce.

          The midway is jammed with all kinds of attractions including my favorite, a booth for Goodyear’s Support Our Troops program. You can have your photograph taken and placed on the side of the Goodyear blimp or sitting inside the blimp. You could sign a wall that will eventually be shipped overseas to some of our troops.

Graham Tire, an Iowa-based Goodyear dealer, had a display of various Goodyear products for trucks, cars and everything else. The Graham display included an attention-getter: A NASCAR stock car they bought from Rick Hendrick’s team, complete with a racing engine.

          The sprint cars typically get on the track about 7:30 p.m. each night but the fans start arriving on site as early as mid morning, just to take in the sites and visit the midway. They walk around and then sit and watch everyone else walk around.

          There is no way to guess who you might meet at Knoxville. The Nationals week attracts fans and teams from every corner of the US, plus international entries. Drivers from Australia, such as Kerry Madsen, race here much of the season and plan their season around competing at the Nationals.

Having said everything above, the people come to Knoxville to see the racing. The track is a half-mile, semi-banked dirt oval. It lends itself to drama. You simply don’t know what might happen next. This year’s final race was decided by .117 of a second.

 The people of Knoxville are warm and inviting. Many of them rent rooms in their homes to visitors in town to watch the racing and life-long friendships have been formed as a result.

The Goodyear Knoxville Nationals is on every race fan’s bucket list and deservedly so.

Thanks for reading.

Now batting cleanup, the starting pitcher...

It’s a fun question and I’m going to give you my answer but, as usual, I have to do things my own way. My all-time favorite 25-man baseball roster, complete with a starting lineup and the bench players is below.

          And, every fifth day, my pitcher will bat cleanup.

          I know, I know. The suspense is gone. You all know the move I’m making. But it’s my blog and my all-time team. If you disagree, go blog your own team.

          Not sure what we need pitchers for anyway. This lineup might never make an out.

          But we’ll we start with the pitchers just to get them out of the way. I’ll take Sandy Koufax, thank you very much, and Don Drysdale, Bob Gibson and Walter Johnson. Those are the other four starters. You already know the fifth.

          Do we really need relief pitchers? Well, maybe one of the starters will get bored, pitching with a 20-run lead all the time. Dennis Eckersley would be in the pen (he’d stay there if we ever had to play against Kirk Gibson) with Goose Gossage, Carl Hubbell, Rollie Fingers and Cy Young. Satchel Paige would also be there, as much to give us advice on life as to pitch.

          I had a hard time with the catchers. Johnny Bench is the starter but I didn’t know what to do after him. You can’t bench Bench, but he might get tired some day and so we need another catcher on the bench. And then we need another catcher in the bullpen to warm up a relief pitcher in case we decide to pull a starting pitcher. So we need Bench, someone on the bench and another guy on the bench in the pen.

          I like the idea of putting Roy Campanella on the dugout bench behind Bench (although he doesn’t have to sit behind Bench on the bench) because Campy was just a great guy to have in the dugout. Yogi Berra would be the third catcher.

          The infield is next and Lou Gehrig plays first. Lou doesn’t take many days off, but we’ll bring in Pete Rose to run the bases when Lou wants an inning of rest. Rogers Hornsby is my second baseman, Ozzie Smith is the shortstop and I’d alternate Mike Schmidt and Brooks Robinson at third. Rabbit Maranville backs up The Wizard at short and Jackie Robinson backs up Hornsby. I like Robinson as another pinch runner.

          Willie Mays, the best player I ever saw play the game, is my centerfielder, Babe Ruth plays right and Lou Brock gets the starting nod in left. By the way, I want Brock to steal bases every time he gets aboard. Roberto Clemente, Hank Aaron and Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio are the backup outfielders.

          Yeah, I know. That’s 27 players. But it’s the end of the season and we get some extra guys. Ted Williams and Josh Gibson get extra spots.

          My manager? Casey Stengle. I don’t care how he manages, I just wanna listen to him talk.

          Oh, you figured out my fifth pitcher, right? He’s a lefty. He started his career with the Red Sox, who deftly dealt this guy, one of the top left handed pitchers in baseball, to the Yankees. His name was George Herman ‘Babe’ Ruth and it turned out he was a pretty good hitter, too. So I’d start Ruth on the mound every fifth day (thus allowing another outfielder to play regularly) and have my pitcher bat cleanup.

          Designated hitter? We don’t need no stinkin’ designated hitter.

          Thanks for reading.

Because I'm right and they're wrong. Again.

          I’m getting up on my soap box again. I’m preaching my message. I’m taking off my shoe and slapping it on the table.

          I act this way when I want to make a point.

          His name is Anthony Calvillo. He is professional football’s all-time leader in passing yardage. He is one of four men in history to have completed more than 400 scoring passes. He needs 79 more touchdown passes to become the sport’s all-time leader in that category, but he is third on that list and is the only active player among the top three. He trails only Tom Brady and one other passer in the statistical quarterback rating among history’s top 25 quarterbacks in terms of yardage gained.

          This man should be a lock to gain induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. Instead, he will not be considered. How dumb is that?

          A Californian, Calvillo has played his entire professional career in the Canadian Football League. Because he plays in Canada, Calvillo has no chance in Canton.

You’ve no doubt heard of Canada. It’s the nation just north of the 48 contiguous United States. The Canadians have their own football league and the league has some rules that are different from those used by the US-based National Football League. The playing field is bigger in Canada, they use a three-down system instead of four and some of the special teams rules are different. They play with 12 men rather than 11 and have an extra eligible receiver.

So what? It’s professional football. Warren Moon and Jeff Garcia, two US-born passers who eventually found stardom in the NFL, started their professional careers in Canada. Ask those guys about playing in the CFL.

Ask Vince Ferragamo about the CFL. He left the NFL’s Rams to play in Canada and his results were less than sensational. It’s tough to play up there.

The last time I went to Canton and visited the shrine, I noticed the big letters on the building and, having learned to read decades ago, checked them out. Those letters said, “Pro Football Hall of Fame.” They did not say, “Hall of Fame for professional football players that played in the United States.” I haven’t been there in a while, but I’m willing to bet the letters still spell the same words.

I noticed this week that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell believes football should be an Olympic sport. He said football is an international game, played in enough nations to qualify for Olympic consideration. It so happens that I disagree with the Goodell (although I think he has done a superb job as Commissioner) on this point, but if football is an international game then the Hall of Fame should have an international membership.

Goodell will be in Canton this week. Maybe he can drop a hint.

Anthony Calvillo should be included in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. His career numbers are staggering. You want championships? He’s won three Grey Cups, the Canadian Super Bowl. In fact, Calvillo is the all-time leader in passing yardage in Grey Cup history and won the MVP Trophy for his play in the 2002 Grey Cup. Guess he’s pretty good in big games, huh?

That means Calvillo has as many titles as John Unitas and more than John Elway.

I referenced some stats in the third paragraph and I’ll detail them below. Anthony Calvillo will be in the Hall of Fame someday, but it will be the Canadian football HoF and not the one in Canton. He should be included in both.

ANTHONY CALVILLO

Attempts: 8,875 (Trails Brett Favre, Damon Allen, Warren Moon)

Completions: 5,563 (Trails Favre)

Completion percentage: 62.7

Touchdowns: 429 (Trails Favre, Moon)

Interceptions: 209 (Many have more. Payton Manning, Jim Kelly and Drew Bledsoe have fewer.)

Yards: 75,045 (all-time record)

Championships: 3

Bio: Born in Los Angeles, played juco football before attending Utah State. Not drafted by NFL teams, signed with Las Vegas Posse of CFL, which folded. Dispersal draft sent him to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. Hamilton later traded him to the Montreal Alouettes, where he has been an all-time great. Turns 40 in 2012.

What a Barganier!

History is the study of people. Either people cause the events we study or events happen to people we study.

          Men drove the RMS Titanic into an iceberg; men, women and children suffered for it. Mount Vesuvius erupted, killing men, women and children. Amelia Earhart and her navigator got lost in the Pacific Ocean; Captain Sullenberger saved a lot of lives when he landed in the Hudson River.

          So it is with the Civil War. We can’t study battles without researching the way people fought them.

          The Barganier brothers of Lowndes County, Alabama have a unique story. There were nine brothers in the family but our focus here covers five of the nine. Those five men served in the Confederate States Army.

          The Barganiers, farmers before the war, served in Company D of the First Battalion of Hilliard’s Legion. Hilliard’s Legion was attached to Archibald Gracie’s Brigade and the brigade was part of William Preston’s division. Gracie’s Brigade gained fame for pushing the Union defenders off the crest of Horseshoe Ridge near the end of the Battle of Chickamauga and other elements of Preston’s Division finished off the remaining Union defenders later.

          A military unit on the winning side of a war that accomplishes everything the men of Hilliard’s Legion accomplished at Chickamauga on September 20, 1863 gains fame. Not so for the men on the losing side.

          And that gives us something to write about.

          The Barganier boys enlisted in May of 1862 at a time when all five were married. By November 15 of that year, Berry Columbus Barganier was dead of disease. He was the only Barganier to die during the war. In fact, Berry Columbus was the only brother to die before 1907.

          Hardy lot, those Alabama men.

          Clabourn Payne Barganier and Hillary Herbert Barganier were both wounded at Chickamauga. Clabourn suffered a severe hand wound and Hillary Herbert was wounded in the foot. It does not appear that either man returned to active duty, but both beat the odds by suffering wounds and surviving the war.

          After the bloodletting at Chickamauga, what was left of Hilliard’s Legion was split into three new units: The 23^rd Battalion, Alabama Sharpshooters; the 59^th Alabama Infantry Regiment and the 60^th Alabama Infantry Regiment. As members of the 60^th, the surviving Barganiers were eventually transferred to the Army of Northern Virginia.

Lawson Brown Bargainer was absent from Chickamauga and was marked Absent-Sick for the fight at Knoxville later in 1863. But he was present at every battle his regiment fought in after that.

Andrew Allen Barganier was absent from Chickamauga but was present at Knoxville. He was Absent-Sick at Bean’s Station, present at Drewry’s Bluff and then Absent Sick the rest of the way.

Amazingly, after everything the brothers struggled through during the war, four of them lived long lives.

Lawson left this life in 1907 at the age of 68. Andrew (known as Andy) was the next to slip away when he died at age 82 in 1914.

Hillary was next. He passed away in 1915, 36 days short of his 81^st birthday.

And Clabourn died in 1933 at the age of 94. He was the last of the nine brothers to die.

The Barganiers were either wounded or too sick to fight more often than they were active for the battles listed in Confederate records. Sickness hampered them during the war, according to the Muster Roll records. That was a common occurrence during the Civil War.

Surviving the Civil War was difficult. Overcoming a brush with Civil War medicine and then living through the war was remarkable. But to do all of that and live into the new century, not to mention three of them reaching into their 80s or 90s, was amazing.

Just another Civil War family with a great story to tell.

Thanks for reading.