Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The tale of the illegal cap


          You probably heard about the five-year old Michigan fan, a kindergarten student, who was in violation of his school’s dress code for wearing a University of Michigan-themed tee-shirt. He had to turn the shirt inside out. In his school’s district, students may only wear Oklahoma or Oklahoma State-themed apparel.

          Like most stupid rules, this dress code is based on well-meaning logic. Gangs sometimes use sports teams as their colors and so limiting the teams represented on shirts at a school is a way to combat gang influence.

          A similar thing happened to my son when he was a high school freshman and we attended a football game at his school.

          Sean had a Superman hat. It was a baseball cap and, if I recall accurately, he got it after riding the Superman ride at Magic Mountain. I think it was cammo-colored. Anyhow, he liked the hat and wanted to wear it. There was a dress code at school that barred the cap but neither Sean nor I were aware that the dress code extended to football games.

          So off we went to this game and we hadn’t been there long before Sean said he wanted to go to the snack bar, which he did. He came back with a teacher who explained that Sean could not wear the hat, that it violated the dress code. He had to leave the stadium.

          I took the hat from Sean and stuck it inside my jacket. The teacher went away and I gave the cap back to Sean. I guess I’m a little stubborn. Anyway, Sean was back a few minutes later with the same teacher. Sean could now surrender the cap or leave the stadium. Failure to do one or the other would end in a suspension.

          Well, I wasn’t going to surrender the cap. I asked if the school would refund my ticket, which the teacher explained was my problem. Then I put the hat on my head and asked if the rule extended to adults, which the teacher said it did not.

          Thus, the same cap was legal on my head and illegal on my son’s head. Very simply the dumbest thing I’d ever heard of. Either the cap was legal or illegal. It couldn’t be both. I explained my opinion of the rule to the teacher, who was becoming less enamored with my stand on the subject with every word I used.

          Of course, my opinion of the hat rule was colored by the fact that Sean was forced to sit on the football field for the entire first week of school while the students who had not registered were placed in class. We had registered Sean very early in the registration period, but the unregistered kids got seats in classrooms while the registered kids sat on the football field.

          Tremendous decision making by the school’s administrators. Brilliant.

          And when Sean finally got a chance to sit in a classroom, he didn’t get the book for one of his classes for three weeks. Notes to the teacher didn’t work. I had to go to a district board meeting and speak during the public comments portion of the meeting to get the kid his book. I gave an excellent talk. I carried a stopwatch because public comments are limited to three minutes. Every time a board member interrupted my dissertation, I held my stopwatch in the air and stopped it. I wanted my full three minutes.

          Sean finally got his book but I had a low opinion of the school’s administration before we started the hat dance at the football game.

          We ended up leaving the game early. Rules are rules and I usually respect even the dumbest ones. But, as a former newspaperman, I’d have loved to write this headline: Superman Cap Incites Riot at Football Game.
 
          Superman, I’ve got your back. Thanks for reading.

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