Wednesday, November 27, 2013

A Thanksgiving Poem from your loyal blogger


On Thanksgiving Weekend to family you’ll ride,

O’re bridges, through Valleys and up the hillsides.

Don’t forget football, for each game we choose sides,

For Saturday’s Iron Bowl, we’ll all yell “Roll Tide!”

 

Gobble the turkey and finish the pies;

Laugh with the family ‘till tears fill your eyes;

Make Dad wash the dishes, but tell him he’s wise.

Careful while driving ‘cause there’s snow in the skies

 

For on this great weekend we must not be cranks,

‘Cause the original Turkey Day (when Pilgrims were Yanks)

Was a day to share grace, shake hands and give thanks

For the peace that was found between men of all ranks.

 

On this day when we think so much about feeding (ourselves)

We should practice goodwill, to you I am pleading.

Whatever you do, though, this thought I am seeding

I am grateful to you for all of your reading.

 

 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

A driveway sign of the season


And so, having walked the dog and observed the conditions, I ventured off again into nature’s wonderland. There just isn’t any point to living so close as we do to nature without taking advantage of the chance to make nature work for us.

Your loyal blogger is an unabashed driveway greeting writer. Season’s greetings are the specialty. The entire neighborhood enjoys these happy, well intentioned greetings written on our driveway. Nature is happy to help with the details.

As we moved closer to one of our biggest weekends of the year, this blogger was simply unable to contain his joyfulness.

In keeping with the season, your loyal blogger is a happy man. Thus, this greeting to all:

 

 

Hey, it’s rivalry week. Read it and weep.

Roll Tide!

 

Thursday, November 21, 2013

WOPIE


          It shaped up to be a busy day. Your loyal blogger had work to do, errands to perform and equipment to purchase.

          Mrs. Leeway, the happy retiree, was preparing to plunge out into the vast winteriness that is northeastern Ohio in November in order that she could attend a luncheon with neighborhood friends.

          “I’ll finish writing this masterpiece,” I said, indicating a business assignment. “Then I’ll walk the dog, put gas in the car, go to the bank and then go to the store to buy the equipment. When I’m done, I’ll take care of world peace.”

          Mrs. Leeway is accustomed to these confident assertions. Your loyal blogger is no mystery man to her. She replied, “I’m going to lunch. Email me if you settle world peace.”

          Her answer sounded like a challenge. Generally, Mrs. Leeway doesn’t challenge me too often. We are both happier that way. She saves her challenges for really big stuff, important stuff that needs to happen soon. Mrs. Leeway likes to call it, “Bringing out the big guns.”

          But I distinctly heard that challenging tone in her voice when she said, “Email me if you settle world peace.”

          So I did it.

          While walking the dog, I elected to multi task and began thinking of ways to develop world peace. Then I realized that the secret is not making everyone happy. I’ve been the Sports Editor of two small newspapers and the Sports Director of two radio stations. I know full well that you can’t make everybody happy.

          You need to make everybody happy enough.

          So, as the dog and I walked around the soggy Ohio landscape, I developed what I call the WOrld Peace Initiative – Elder, or WOPIE.

          The terms of WOPIE are really very simple: Do what Elder says.

          Forget negotiating. What a fantastic waste of time. You find two parties who kill each other out of habit and tell them the same thing: “You knuckleheads have been fighting each other for a thousand years? Okay, you’re done. Don’t kill anyone anymore.”

          That’s it. World Peace in one easy lesson.

          There’s the blueprint. Go do something with it, world.

          I’m not going to spend much more time on this. I volunteered my time and I was walking the dog at the same time. Nobody is going to pay me for my mental effort and I doubt the time spent will be tax deductible.
 
          I don’t expect any thanks, but I will thank you for reading.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Lincoln and Kennedy: Linked forever


          It is amazing to think how closely related two events are that are separated in time by one hundred years and three days. Both reflect their historic eras and both changed the course of history, one more than the other.

          President Abraham Lincoln gave his Gettysburg Address on November 19, 1863. President John Kennedy was assassinated November 22, 1963.

          Kennedy was invited to speak at Gettysburg on the 100th anniversary of Lincoln’s address, but either Kennedy or his advisors decided a trip to Texas would better serve the re-election bid in the coming year.

          In retrospect, this was a poor choice.

          You’ve heard all the crazy coincidences: Both men had vice presidents named Johnson; Kennedy was riding in a Lincoln when he was shot and both first ladies ordered major work done on the White House.

Both Abe Lincoln and John Kennedy served during tumultuous times: Lincoln’s election triggered the Civil War and Kennedy presided during the Cold War, ordered the Bay of Pigs invasion and escalated American involvement in Vietnam.

Lincoln was not anyone’s idea of a picturesque man (although he sat for many photographs) but he was physically strong and vigorous. Kennedy projected an attractive image of a young, active man but he was actually somewhat frail.

Both had a way with words. Lincoln spoke of a government of the people, by the people and for the people, while Kennedy told his countrymen to ask not what their country could do for them but instead ask what they could do for their country.

Both men carried the pain of children lost at young ages.

More than a hundred years after Lincoln was murdered and a few years after Kennedy was killed, Lyndon Johnson, Kennedy’s vice president, pushed the Civil Rights Act through Congress. It was a piece of legislation Lincoln likely would have approved.

Andrew Johnson, Lincoln’s VP, did not fare so well in working with Congress.

Each November includes the anniversaries of Lincoln’s address and Kennedy’s murder. This year, because of the way the numbers fall, we pay more attention to those dates.

We can argue about how effective they were during their time in office, but Lincoln and Kennedy are somehow linked in the minds of many Americans. Maybe it is due to the assassinations. Maybe it is because of what they had in common.

Whatever the reason, the story of those two presidents draws us to them.

 Here is something else: The further away from Lincoln’s life time traveled, the more removed Americans were from the tremendous hatred Lincoln engendered during his time in office. We are left with his record.

In Kennedy’s case, the longer time stretches from his killing, the less emotion colors our vision of him. We are left with his record.

By the way, do you know who the last sitting president was to visit Gettysburg on November 19, the date of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?

It was Abraham Lincoln. No president since then has thought himself capable of matching Lincoln’s eloquence.

Thanks for reading.

College football trivia (and a story)


          Want to win a bet? Here are some college football trivia questions that you can used to stump your pals. Given the proper setting, you might even pay off a bar tab.

          The questions appear first, followed by a hysterical football story. Then come the trivia answers.

 

The questions

Name the first man to both coach and play in the Rose Bowl game.

 

Who was the first head coach to lead the University of Alabama to a victory over Notre Dame?

 

Before he became professional football’s first truly great wide receiver as a star for the Green Bay Packers, Don Hutson played his college football at Alabama. The other end for the Crimson Tide when Hutson was there never played pro football, but he later became famous anyway. Who was he?

 

How many BCS bowl games has Notre Dame won?

 

The funny story

          Several decades ago, around 1969 or 1970, a young woman sat in the stands as the Chicago Bears began a game. I do not remember now who the opponent was. The young woman in question turned to the man next to her and predicted the Bears’ first play from scrimmage. She was correct and the man was impressed.

          The young woman then predicted the next play and, good naturedly, the man disagreed, predicting a different play. The woman was right again.

          Now, the gentleman knew his football and he proposed a small wager with the young woman about the next play. The young woman, with an equal dose of good nature, agreed and, again, she was right.

          This went on for most of the first quarter with the gentleman losing on every play. Finally, the young woman extended her hand to the gentleman and introduced herself.

          She was the Bears’ quarterback’s wife and she helped him memorize the first 15 plays of the game plan every week. The way I heard the story, the young woman did not collect on the wagers.

 

The answers

Wallace Wade played in the Rose Bowl as a guard at Brown and coached Alabama in the game years later.

 

Ray Perkins led the Crimson Tide to a victory over Notre Dame in 1986, the first time Alabama ever beat the Fighting Irish. Bear Bryant never beat Notre Dame.

 

Bear Bryant was Hutson’s teammate, the other end, at Alabama.

 

The Fighting Irish have not won a BCS bowl game.

 

          Thanks for reading.

 

Sunday, November 17, 2013

There are rules, there are laws and then there is the NFL


          We do not live in a consistent world. Consider the following:

          Miami Dolphins offensive lineman Rich Incognito, according to reports from a teammate, fellow lineman Jonathan Martin, has bullied Martin since the start of the 2013 pro football season.

          You’ve seen the reports. Text messages and other types of communications from the veteran Incognito have surfaced with unacceptable wording. Incognito was rude (at best) at times to the younger Martin and, if you believe all the reports that have surfaced as the case has evolved, was clearly boorish at other times.

          Martin has had enough of the bad treatment and has left the team. Incognito has been suspended. The players union says it is investigating. The Dolphins are investigating. The media is investigating. Everybody is investigating.

          That’s case one.

          Case two involves the undefeated Kansas City Chiefs. Dwayne Bowe, a wide receiver, was stopped for a routine traffic violation by police (he was driving in excess of the posted speed limit) and marijuana was discovered in the vehicle. Bowe was arrested because, whether you like it or not, marijuana is a controlled substance. Bowe was in violation of the law.
 
          Still, Bowe will start for the Chiefs when Kansas City plays the Denver Broncos this weekend. There is no league investigation, no probe into the situation by the Chiefs. The media has largely ignored the case.

          If the reports we have seen about Incognito’s language and behavior are accurate, then his conduct was reprehensible, even if condoned within the tight-knit world of a team’s locker room. But reprehensible or not, his language is largely protected by the Constitution of the United States.
 
          Incognito, who violated no laws (except the ones about using common sense) is suspended.

          It appears that the Constitution’s reach does not extend into the realm of the court of Political Correctness and it does not protect offensive linemen. Read it once more: Incognito has been suspended.

          Bowe, however, is a star receiver. He is protected by something much stronger than the Constitution. He is protected by the National Football League Players Association’s Collective Bargaining Agreement with the National Football League.

          Andy Reid, the Chiefs’ head coach, said the team is powerless to punish Bowe for violating the law because of the CBA. Since Bowe can’t be fined or suspended, he’ll be in the starting lineup against Denver.

          After all, it is a really big game.

          Thanks for reading.

 

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Side notes


So, you see, it’s like this:

          First, you travel to the Far West. California, to be exact. You spend a week in the nice warm weather.

          The truth is the ambient temperature (that’s a fancy way of saying the air temperature) was a little too warm. It was nearly hot. In fact, the self-defense act of using sun screen left you feeling downright uncomfortable.

          You feel righteous, to be sure, but still uncomfortable.

          You spend the weekend walking around, soaking up the heat (while reflecting the harmful rays with your righteous sun screen) and enjoying the air conditioning when you duck inside to get out of the heat.

          Side note: You generally don’t need sun screen inside a building, but you leave it on anyway. Then you slop more on yourself when you go outside again.

          You walk from spot to spot wearing a short sleeve shirt and you are comfortable, except for the feel of the sun screen.

          Then you fly home to Ohio.

          Side note: You don’t need much sunscreen when wearing 15 layers of clothing.

          You arrive at your car in the airport parking lot as the rain starts. You drive home as the rain slowly increases strength. You buy dinner in a pouring rain, and then escape into your garage. You are happy to be home.

          Dinner complete, the dog insists that it is walking time. You dig out your winter walking boots, hitch up the pooch and step out into a snow storm. It is dark by now and the wind is blowing snow straight into your face. You close your eyes and hope the dog doesn’t lead you anywhere stupid.

          Side note: The application of sunscreen will not help you stay warm in a blowing snowstorm.

          Convinced the communists are out to get you and that your dog might be one of them, you plunge into the night’s weather. You meet up with a neighbor walking a poodle that is so small and white that it will be difficult to see in the snow.

          The four of you mush ahead into the snow. You are so bundled up that you can’t hear a word your neighbor says. Every time there seems to be a pause, you grunt some sort of neutral agreement, just to be polite.

          Side note: Snow is the same color as sunscreen.

          You arrive home and you wipe the snow off the dog so she will not track mud in with her wet paws.

          Now you get to the business of unpacking your suitcase and the first thing you find in your hand is your bottle of sun screen. It is the second batch you bought in the last two weeks. The previous batch ended up in the trash at an airport when you stupidly left it in your carry on backpack. Determined not to lose the current bottle, you search your house for a safe place to leave it to wait until the spring. The search is pointless, you realize. That bottle of sunscreen is gone, history, lost forever. It is a casualty of winter.

          Unpacking complete, you sit down to watch a football game between two teams from Florida. It is a night game. There are no players wearing sunscreen, but one team does throw a screen pass.

          Finally, your wife mentions some important news: The corner convenience store is selling regular grade gasoline for $2.97 a gallon. This means gasoline costs less, by volume, than sun screen.

          You feel better about the whole dumb thing.
         
          Thanks for reading.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

This just in: The Great Depression


          From out of the blue, a random thought about history:

          The last time the United States faced an economic challenge as threatening as the one we are trying to fight our way out of now was during The Great Depression of the 1930s.

You might have heard about it. If you’re old enough to remember (which your loyal blogger is not), The Great Depression was in all the newspapers. It is mentioned in many history books now. It was a key era in the development of the type of society we enjoy today.

It would take more space than we have here to recap all the events which led to The Great Depression, but suffice is to say many of the causes of the financial failures way back then closely resemble the causes of the mess we are dealing with now.

In other words, we haven’t learned anything since then.

The difference between then and now, in terms of finding a way out of trouble, is largely the circumstance and attitudes of the workforce society currently offers to businesses and corporations.

Franklin D. Roosevelt inherited a faltering business climate when he went into office for his first term as President of the United States. Roosevelt used the federal government to generate jobs through infrastructure improvement. The Federal government created the Tennessee Valley Authority and other similar organizations that provided work.

Americans, mostly American men, rushed to join the crews building whatever project they could get to. These men figured they would learn on the job what they needed to know about the task at hand.

When the Second World War suddenly yanked the United States into the conflict, many, many Americans still were not working. A huge workforce of technically competent, emotionally willing men were ready and able to go to work in factories that suddenly became productive parts of the war effort.

And the same broken economy made joining the military more attractive. While Your Loyal Blogger readily grants the point that most of the American military was raised through the draft, never has government-provided clothing, shoes and food been more attractive.

It has been written many times that the war brought America out of The Great Depression, but the greater truth is that The Great Depression probably made it possible for America to lead the effort to fight off the tyrannical nations with dreams of world dominance.

Today’s America is populated by a different mindset. We expect the Federal government to provide us with everything we need now. From Unemployment Insurance to Welfare, Americans have several ways to put food on the table without actually working for it. Many will refuse to work at jobs they feel are below the level they should accept, based upon their former stations in business. Somehow not working is better than working.

It isn’t likely today that a former executive would be willing to travel across the country in search of work on infrastructure-improvement projects.

Do you remember the old Jerry Reed song When You’re Hot, You’re Hot? At the end, the lyrics ask the judge, who has just jailed the singer to 90 days in jail, “Who’s gonna collect my Welfare? Pay for my Cadillac?” the song goes.

The song was written decades ago, but it holds true today and that might make a statement about why this country has struggled to work its way out of the worst economic situation since The Great Depression.

Maybe the problem is that we just don’t want to work.

Thanks for reading.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Iverson's retirement: This is not a practice


          The basketball world got the news today this week that Allen Iverson has retired from professional basketball.

          Iverson was among the most electrifying offensive players in the game during his prime years and he loved to play. Iverson will probably miss the games but, looking on the bright side, at least he won’t have to practice any more.

          Click on the link below to see Iverson’s feelings about practicing.

 


 

          The best story I ever heard about practice, in any sport, involved Magic Johnson during his short stint as the head coach of the Los Angeles Lakers. The Lakers won a few games after Johnson took over as head coach with 10 or 12 games to go in the season, but they went on a losing streak after that.

          Johnson reportedly felt the players were not buying into his ideas, which included working hard in practice. I believe it was the final practice before the final game of the season when Johnson decided it was time to make a point.

          Johnson laced up his sneakers and picked an assistant coach who had played with him and one or two others, then played against the Lakers starters in a series of three games to 15 points.

          The old guys destroyed the starters in all three games.

          When it comes to practice, you can listen to Iverson (the link is still above) or you can look at Magic Johnson’s hands. You know, the hands with all those championship rings.
 
          Hey, if you’re reading this, it is because your elementary school teachers made you practice your reading skills. Thanks to them and thanks to you for reading.