Sunday, February 5, 2023

2023 Speedyleeway Awards

The 2023 Speedyleeway Awards, as determined by Speedylee and a cast of many others. This year’s awards are late. So what?

 

NEWS MAKER OF THE YEAR AWARD: To Mad Vlad Putin for his failed invasion of the Ukraine.

THEY’LL BAN HUMANS NEXT AWARD: To the state of California, which has banned just about everything else.

WE WELCOME EVERYONE AWARD: To the state of Georgia for generously allowing Texas resident Hershel Walker to run for elected office in the Peach state.

THE WALL GANG AWARD: To NASCAR driver Ross Chastain for his last-lap, all or nothing charge at Bristol Motor Speedway. This award is named in honor of the famous Sit On the Wall Gang of Santa Monica, California.

THE FOLLOW THE ELDERS AWARD: To USC and UCLA for leaving the Pacific 12 Conference. The schools become the 15th and 16th members of the Big 10 Conference.

THE DON’T HIRE ENGINEERS FROM THIS CONFERENCE AWARD: To the 16-member Big 10 Conference.

RETURN ON INVESTMENT AWARD: To the Cleveland Browns for their very expensive contract with quarterback DeShon Watson.

BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD: Coach George Allen: A Football Life. Published by McFarland & Company Publishers.

TEAM OF THE YEAR AWARD: The 2022 Super Bowl champion Los Angeles Rams.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE TO DO? AWARD: The 2022 Los Angeles Dodgers.

THE REHASH IT ALL OVER AGAIN AWARD: To China for its end of the year outbreak of the COVID-19 virus.

SCHOOL SPIRIT AWARD: To Natalie Davis and Callie Ramsey of Wewoka (Oklahoma) High School. Their school’s football team ran low on players, so these two young women stepped up and helped out. Both women played in the game. Davis punted and kicked off. She recorded a tackle on her kickoff.

PROMOTER OF THE YEAR AWARD: To Ventura (California) Raceway’s Jim Naylor for the tremendous trophies he builds for the annual Turkey Night Grand Prix USAC midget race.

TALK SHOW OF THE YEAR AWARD: To Paul Finebaum for his show on the SEC Network.

AWARD OF THE YEAR AWARD: To the Professional Football Researchers Association for its annual Hall of Very Good Awards.

THE LET’S GET OUT OF HERE AWARD: To the officiating crew of the Michigan-TCU national semi-final game for its failure to continue officiating in the final seconds.


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