How cold is it?

       Nine ways you can tell it is cold outside:

       1. You bring cans of soda in the house from the garage. You put the soda in the refrigerator in order to warm the soda up to a drinkable temperature.

       2. You walk to the corner ice cream shop and buy ice cream. You walk home with your order in a paper bag. You put the ice cream in the freezer in order to thaw the ice cream.

       3. Your town has fewer degrees (in tonight's case, negative three) than letters in its name (five letters).

       4. You car has more inflated tires and wheels bolted on it (generally this is four each) than you have degrees outside (negative three).

       5. The Cleveland/Los Angeles/St. Louis Rams have more world championships (three) than your community has units of temperature measurement (yep, still negative three).

       6. The University of Alabama football team has more losses (two) than your home thermometer has degrees (say it with me, negative three).

       7. You have more Bachelor's degrees than you city has Fahrenheit degrees (you know this one).

       8. You have never written a book, yet you have had more books published (zero) than your town has temperature (negative numbers are smaller than zero).

      9. You get more thanks for reading here (this is it) than you have degrees outside.