It simply can't happen

          Those of us who live out west have heard the expression, “Yeah, but it’s a dry heat,” a comment frequently attributed to Arizona residents. Having lived in California’s low desert, where the heat is terribly high and the humidity is worse, I can understand what the Arizonans mean about dry heat.

          The lack of humid air makes heat easier to cope with. We all get that, right? Sure we do.

          But what I do not understand is the phenomenon of warm rain. I’ve experienced it several times in recent weeks and it simply isn’t logical.

Warm rain? Can’t happen. Look, rain comes from storm clouds. Storm clouds come from a cold place somewhere. Don’t ask me where this cold place is, that stuff is above my pay grade. I just know storms start out cold and should drop cold rain drops on the earth, turning the ambient conditions on the planet surface cold. That’s cold, not just cooler.

It is therefore counter intuitive to walk out into a gathering storm wearing warm clothing and then feel uncomfortably warm as the rain pours down. This simply can’t happen. If it is raining or pouring, the old man should be cold when he is snoring. The old man should not awaken during a rain storm and turn his air conditioner to a cooler setting.

Warm rain is an oxymoron, sort of like World Champion Los Angeles Clippers.

Here in California, where all things are logical (go with me on this), we really don’t have much rain at all. But when we do endure our annual moment of rain, the conditions get cold. California cold.

I was recently in Ohio and it rained. A blustery wind was pushing everything around and the conditions were cold. That’s exactly as it should be.

A week later I was in Alabama. More rain, a little wind. And it was warm outside. As I once heard a guy say during a television commercial, “That just don’t make no sense.” I don’t remember the guy’s name or the name of the store he was advertising, but his words have stuck with me for decades.

Warm rain just don’t make no sense.

If we have clothing out on the line to dry and we get a warm rain, will the clothing shrink? I need to know this stuff. I mean, think about this: If the little tags in the clothes say you must use a cold wash, will the colors run in a warm rain?

And what is the government doing about this warm rain issue? Nothing, that’s what. Congress hasn’t done anything constructive in years about anything. Those do-nothings could kill some time by drafting a law saying that by 2020 no clothing sold in the United States will shrink or lose color in a warm wash, thus eliminating any chance of a wardrobe malfunction due to a warm rain.

I’m telling you, we’ve got to be more proactive.

Thanks for reading.