King Henry's horse

          One day, King Henry VIII was just sitting around. Having nothing else to do (he was between wives at the time), he decided to hear the pleadings of several prisoners who wanted to appeal their death sentences. Henry was the King, you know, and once in a while he had to do a little King work.

          So came to the court a man twice convicted of stealing bread. The criminal lost a hand for his first conviction and was about to lose his head for the second. Bread was worth a lot of dough back then.

          “Your Royal Highness,” the two-time loser began, “the Kingdom should not lose my services for I can make horses talk.”

          “Really,” asked the King. Henry was a sporting man and he figured he could really make hay with a talking horse. “Could you make my horse talk?”

          “Of course, your Royal Highness.”

          “And how long would this take?” the King asked.

          “It usually takes a year,” the one-handed felon replied.

          “Well then,” said Henry VIII. “Bring me my horse a year from now. If he talks, you may live. Otherwise, off with your head.”

          The guard charged with walking the criminal to the royal stables laughed at the soon-to-be free convict as they traversed the distance. Only a fool would make such a deal with the King, the guard sneered.

          “Well, as I see it, three things can happen,” the poor little man told the guard. “I might die before a year is up. Or the King may die. Or,” the wretch told the guard, “the horse might talk.”

          It is not always easy to remain optimistic. But sometimes, when I feel optimistic, I think to myself, “Or the horse might talk.”

          You never know.

          Thanks for reading.