The 2016 SPEEDY Awards

Hard to believe that it is that time again, but it is time for our annual Speedy Awards. We have somewhere around 7,146 members of the Speedy Awards Commission, but my vote is the only one that counts, so who really cares about all those other people?

NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR: America’s two leading political parties each nominated a candidate for president that nobody liked. Then America got mad when one of those candidates won.

SPORTS STORY OF THE YEAR: Cubs win!! Cubs win!!

Runnerup: Mickey Dale is elected to the Imperial Valley High School Football Coaches Hall of Fame for his media work.

IT’S CONFUSING BUT THIS IS MY BLOG AND NOT YOURS TEAM OF THE YEAR AWARD: The Alabama Crimson Tide for winning the 2016 national football championship game.

HOLY HEADACHE AWARD: To NASCAR driver Dale Earnhart Jr. for sitting out much of the season with concussion symptoms and then winning NASCAR’s Most Popular Driver Award again anyway. That’s like a pitcher winning the Cy Young Award without pitching after the All-Star game.

GONNA MISS ‘EM AWARD: To announcers Vin Scully and Vern Lundquist, who retired in 2016. Gonna miss those voices.

ORGANIZER OF THE YEAR AWARD: To Amy Elder, President of the Tallmadge, Ohio Primetimers Club.

THE STEVE YOUNG MONKEY OFF HIS BACK AWARD: To drag racer Ron Capps for winning the NHRA Funny Car World Championship. Capps would have been elected to most racing Halls of Fame anyway after his racing days are over, but now he is a world champ and we can’t imagine any Hall that would ignore his career. Well done.

DEAD ON ARRIVAL AWARD: The Damn Good Colleague Award has been awarded to six public relations representatives in the drag racing industry. Five of the six either lost or left their jobs within two months of winning the award. One of the five managed to return to drag racing later the following season. The award has been discontinued.

SEASON OF THE YEAR AWARD: To Winter for not showing up in Northeastern Ohio.

WORST DECISION OF THE YEAR AWARD: To the San Diego Chargers for deciding to move to Los Angeles. The decision was made in 2016, we are sure. The Chargers want to play in a bigger stadium so they might end up playing on a 32,000-seat soccer field for a while. There are high schools stadiums in Texas that hold more fans. Little Eddie used to say it on the Zachery All commercials, “That just don’t make sense.”

A Bad Day for Mother

          During the Civil War, the Confederate Army had a policy of grouping soldiers from specific locations together in companies. For example, the soldiers Company A of a given regiment might all have been from a given county in Alabama. The idea was that the soldiers were more likely to serve honorably if each man knew that if he was accused of cowardice, if he stole the possessions of the other soldiers or if he deserted, the word would get back home and that soldier would be treated accordingly at home.

          You might remember the famous quote from Joshua L. Chamberlain, commander of the 20^th Maine during its legendary defense of the Union left flank on Little Round Top during the battle of Gettysburg. Chamberlain instructed his brother, Tom, to move to the other side of the regiment when the shooting started. Joshua Chamberlain said famously that if the brothers stood together, one Confederate bullet could get lucky and then it would, “be a bad day for mother.”

          Jump ahead roughly 10 weeks and another mother did have a bad day.

          Ancil (or Ansel) Lee, Jackson Lee and Martin Lee were brothers serving in Company A of the Fourth Battalion in Hilliard’s Legion, an Alabama outfit. During the battle of Chickamauga, the Legion fought as part of Brigadier General Archibald Gracie’s Brigade and was a part of the famous charge up Horseshoe Ridge September 20, 1863. The attack was among the bloodiest of the entire war. Gracie’s Brigade attacked with 1,782 men. 92 of those men were killed and 618 more were wounded. The Fourth Battalion alone lost 15 killed and 87 wounded for a total of 102 casualties out of 205 members who started up the side of that Ridge. Eight of the wounded later died of their wounds.

          And two of the dead were brothers Jackson and Martin Lee. The Lees were from Butler County, Alabama. Jackson was about 29 when he died and Martin was two years younger. It was a bad day for their mother.

          Statistics like the number of men who fell attacking or defending that Ridge can be ugly to look at, but those stats are still just numbers. When you add names to those statistics, such as Privates Jackson Lee and Martin Lee, then the numbers start to mean something.

          The Fourth Battalion was on the left side of Gracie’s attacking line and Company D was likely the second company from the left within the Fourth. As the assault began, the Fourth had to stop and lay on its arms as another regiment, which had attacked the same Ridge earlier, pulled back. As a result, according to the commanding officer of the Fourth, the battalion’s momentum was slowed. Of the Legion’s four battalions, the Fourth was the lone member that did not reach the top of the Ridge. Eventually, its ammunition spent, the Fourth pulled back off that bloody hillside. Gracie’s Brigade, which included two regiments plus the Legion, carried the day for the Confederates, moving the Union defenders off of their defensive positions and taking the hill.

Only one of the three Lees knew of the victory. His brothers died fighting for a cause that we know today was both flawed and terrible. The intent here is not to praise the Confederate cause. Slavery remains an ugly fact of American history and we are well rid of it, even if bigotry remains as a blot on our society that also needs eliminating.

Still, I can’t help but think of the bad day in Butler County when so many families got the bad news that their loved ones were killed or maimed. War is a terrible thing. If we really want to rid ourselves of the curse of battle, we need our young to understand what war is. Teach them the history and they’ll get the message: This is what happens when cooler heads do not prevail.

           Thanks for reading.