Writers are always on the listen for the next great one-liner. You never know when it might come or who might roll it out. Circumstances sometimes play a part, but frequently they come from out of nowhere.
Babe Ruth, the legendary baseball player, was asked if he felt it was appropriate for him to make more money than the President of the United States. Babe answered in the affirmative and said, “I had a better year.”
But that was Babe Ruth, one of the great quote machines of his age. You would expect Ruth to get off a good one now and again.
Former Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda, another media-friendly baseball Hall of Famer, had some tirades during his years as the Dodgers skipper that have reached legendary status. He was once asked his opinion of Dave Kingman’s performance when the Cubs outfielder beat the Dodgers with three home runs in one game. The answer is long and unprintable, but you can find it on You Tube. Search for Lasorda Audio Stew.
“You ask me my opinion?” the stunned Lasorda replies. “What (in the world) do you think my opinion of it was? I think it was (absolutely very terrible).”
Sometimes, great lines come from unexpected sources. I was working with a student at California Lutheran University two basketball seasons ago, calling a basketball game on the school’s live streaming site. The subject matter was the athletic teams at the California Institute of Technology. My color commentator, a CLU senior named Greg Gelber, said Cal Tech was not a school noted for its athletic prowess.
“It’s more of a mental institution,” Gelber said.
Obviously, great lines are sometimes found in movie scripts. Lauren Bacall’s line from To Have and Have Not, “You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? Just put your lips together and blow,” is a classic. So are two Clint Eastwood lines from his Dirty Harry films: “Do you feel lucky, punk?” and “Go ahead. Make my day.”
And I’ll never forget John Wayne’s “Fill yer hands you sonuva (gun),” from the original True Grit.
Bum Phillips, the former football coach, had a terrific line about the greatest football coach, Paul Bryant. Phillips was an assistant to Bryant when the two coached at Texas A&M.
Phillips said, “Bear Bryant could take his’n and beat your’n or he could take your’n and beat his’n.”
I invite you to improve upon that.
Another football coach, John Heisman, after whom the trophy was named, is credited with a great piece of advice: “When in doubt, punt.” Heisman, who was a little stern, is also widely quoted as telling his team, “Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.”
Then there is drag racing champion Jason Line, who was asked this week if his team would be racing Pontiacs next season. Line’s line was, “We need to race a brand that’s a little more relevant, or at least one that exists.”
Few people ever communicated better than Ronald Reagan. His invitation to the leader of the USSR (I can’t spell his name) to, “Tear down this wall,” is a classic. So was his response during a Republican presidential candidate debate, when someone threatened to turn off Reagan’s microphone: “I paid for this microphone.”
But my favorite Reagan line came during a debate with then-President Jimmy Carter. Carter said something candidate Reagan disagreed with, allowing Reagan to reply, “Well, there you go again.”
You never know when the next great line is going to pop up. That’s why they are so fun.
Thanks for reading.
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