It starts with a 'T', and it rhymes with bubble

            I have a special talent for getting myself in trouble.

No applause, please.

Take, for example, the small matter of family birthdays. I have been out of town on my wife’s birthday for the last 11 years. The kids are grown and gone so, except for our dog and our cat (the terrorist), my wife has been home, alone on her last 11 birthdays. There were six years, run consecutively, when I wasn’t home for either kid’s birthday.

My own birthday? Not lately.

My mother recently celebrated her 80^th birthday. I called from half a continent away to wish her well. I live an hour’s drive from Mom, but I wasn’t even in the same time zone on her birthday this year.

So you can readily ascertain that, when it comes to getting in trouble, I have a head start on all of you. At dawn on any given day, I’m pretty much already in trouble.

I have learned to live with guilt. I’m in trouble, it’s my fault, I know it, and I know I need to do something in order to get out of the dog house. Even when I am not in any specific trouble, I work under the assumption that I am or soon will be on my way to the principal’s office.

Again.

Guilt is a powerful motivator. Let us examine, as evidence, my annual absence at the time of my wife’s birthday. My absence is work-related because I work for Goodyear Racing and I have to work at an NHRA drag race over the same weekend every year. Amy’s birthday is right around that time and I am simply never home that weekend. Can’t be.

Now, my wife Amy is one of the great people on this planet. She deserves better than to be alone on her birthday. I know it and I try to be proactive. We celebrate her birthday before I leave town. I always try to find a nice gift, something she wants, and take her out for a nice dinner.

The last two years, I have sent emails with photos (2010) and videos (2011) of people at the races wishing her a happy birthday. I’m in deep, deep trouble next year because I’m out of new ideas.

            Amy and I have been married for 25 years and I have to say that I’m the happiest guy you’ll meet. I’m a lucky man. I constantly pay attention to how lucky I am. Otherwise, I’d be in more trouble than usual.

            Thanks for reading. I’ll try to stay out of trouble for a while.